I AM SO STUPID

So guess what? The jerk talked to me today. He said “what’s up, Caroline” as he walked past me in the hallways. I stood by my locker as his stupid walking past my back. Turning my head I heard my voice speak a simple “hey” as his black eye moved down the hall towards his own locker. In my mind I was freaking out. I didn’t know what to do, or what to say. I wanted to ignore him, be hardcore, play hard to get. But that, my friend, is not my style I guess. Not around him at least. As soon as he gives me the slightest bit of attention I am hooked again. I am so stupid!

And guess what? I asked him if he could hang out some time soon. He said he didn’t know because wrestling season was starting. Surprising answer right there! not. I just wish I knew what is going on. No, I wish nothing was. I wish everything was as before. I wish he was mine, and mine alone. I wish I was his. I want to be able to kiss him, touch him, feel him, breath. But I want to smack him, hard. Make him hurt as much as I do. My eyes are still tearing up all the time. They long after him every time he is near. I catch myself looking for him constantly. It’s stupid. This day is stupid. I am so stupid!

- CS

The worst feelings:

cheated on, replaced, over-thinking, lied to, led on, not appreciated, not cared for, being left out, ignored, and worrying.

Basically all the feeling in me right now.

- CS

You were everything

You were everything I didn’t expect to find here

I didn’t know how bad I needed you

How bad I would need you now

I wanna say I wish I had never met you

But that would be a lie

I would do it all again, so many times

I trusted you,

I felt closer to you than what good was , I guess

So now I’m alone, left with a broke heart

I didn’t need to find you but I did, and I’m happy I did

But you hurt me more than I had ever imagined

And you know what the worst thing is? I still don’t know the truth.

- CS

You are mine

You are mine now

And I am yours

I love that thought

I love this feeling

To be somebody’s

But mostly to be yours

And to be able to call you mine

Yep, I am proud

I cannot wait to see you again

Though you just left the place

I like you a lot

I love you

I want you

I want to be with you

Laugh with you

Kiss you

Because I now know I can

I know I have the right

Cause you are mine

And I am yours

- CS